FEELING RIGHT MOTIVATES A CHILD TO BEHAVE RIGHTLY AND SOLVE HER PROBLEMS.

Feeling right motivates a child to behave rightly and solve her problems.

To accept and validate the feelings of our children is to make them feel right and better.

We must endeavour to come out of the steady denial of their feelings, to avoid confusing, enraging and teaching them not to know and trust their feelings.

Putting yourself in your children’s shoes and attempting to tune into their feelings fosters a supportive, productive interpersonal climate.

Providing a listening ear and an empathic response to children motivates them to help themselves.

Children find it easy to express their worries to a listening parent. A sympathetic silence often comforts them.

Questioning, blaming or hastily advising a child prevents her from thinking constructively or clearly.

A caring attitude together with expressions like, “Oh… Umm…” or “I see,” encourages a child to explore her thoughts and feelings and possibly discover her own solutions.

Nudging a child, however kindly, to get rid of a bad feeling makes her more anxious.

To comfort a child and guide her to a more productive state, acknowledge and name the feelings that she is experiencing and compassionately, verbally relay it to her.

Logical explanations of why a child can’t have what she wants often elicits more protests from her. Sometimes, verbally orchestrating a fantasy to show that you understand how much they want something makes it easier for them to live with the reality of not having their way. For example: “I wish I have a magic wand that will make a giant box of chocolate appear.”