We are often moved to feel for the characters in our movies because of their internal struggles. Their struggles remind us of our own; how we have overcome them or not. Driven by guilt, purpose, anger and frustration, they appear humanised, compelling, and relatable. Following from, prominent among ideas of how to be more lovable is the notion of showing vulnerability. Vulnerability often implies safeness, not threat.
Continuing With, How To Be More Lovable Spotlights
1. Show Flaws, Hiccups, And Imperfections
Frequently, vulnerability appears attractive and relatable, as it shows us not intimidating to others. Projecting perfection will probably backfire on us, but showing vulnerability will make us more likable (Aronson, Willerman, and Floyd, 1966). Displaying Imperfection makes us more approachable and relatable, and overall more human. This tendency makes others more comfortable and eases their fear of judgement.
Contrary to, the attitude of projecting perfection, makes others uncomfortable since they fear that they will be judged, and come up short. Also, projecting perfection often triggers others’ insecurities. Insecurities heighten their fear of being found wrong and humiliated.
More, you become human and more likable when you commit a silly error or destroy any mystique people might have about you. When you show others that you are just like them, not a living statue or encyclopedia, they will become more comfortable with you. They will relax and won’t be so concerned with how they appear.
In line with, your value to your friends comes from a place of imperfection or quirks or what makes you unique. So, call yourself out when you make a mistake. Admit embarrassing things about yourself. For this, others will drop their insecurities, and let their guards down around you.
2. Use More Positive Feedback To Lessen The Sting Of Negative Feedback
Frequently, we don’t like to hear bad news. Therefore, it pays to use positive feedback to lessen the sting of negative feedback. In support of, Marcial Losada and Heaphy (2004) discovered that a greater amount of positivity than negativity, correlates to better performance and higher rates of success. Furthermore, he found this. To make someone amid a negative feedback feel good, we need to make six positive statements. This helps to maintain a healthy work relationship, and mitigate any negative impact on the other’s self-esteem and mood. Teams that lean towards positivity tend to produce better work, get along, and like each other better.
Following from, load up on positive comments as you interact with another, especially when you have to deliver anything negative. Use loads of positivity after you deliver a negative comment, to counteract the effects of negativity. Adjunct to, lead with negativity first, and then follow up with positivity. In accordance with, don’t heap praises on someone, and then conclude that their presentation needs work. The impact of the negativity will drown out the praise. On account of, how to be more lovable starts us leaning more towards the positive than negative.
3. Alter Your Negative Statements, At Least Halfway
On this, it is constructive to err on the side of the positive and good-natured, not act like a sycophant. Altering our negative statements, at least halfway, makes a lot of positive difference. Further with, being mindful when we are disagreeing or starting a sarcastic comment, helps to keep us from using negativity that turns others off.
4. Ask Others For Advice And Revere Them As Experts
Oftentimes, we enjoy feeling validated and important. On this, making others experts and asking for their advice, makes us more endearing or lovable to them. To put a construction on, demonstrate more curiosity about topics well known to the other, preferences, hobbies, educational background, and areas of expertise. What is more, we all have areas of interest, and it is satisfying when others ask about stuff that we are interested in. The recognition, enthusiasm, and curiosity directed towards it energises us.
In keeping with, ask specific questions about how they function and what is involved in a specific sphere of activity. Following on, ask for a advice regarding them. An advice sounds more like “how can I do that?” not “what do you wear?” we love displaying our deeper thoughts on a topic of expertise since it makes us feel smart. Though most of us may not seek out the spotlight willingly, we gladly seize it for a brief amount of time if someone shines it onto us. We often love to talk about ourselves. The fact that we are the sole topic that occupies our minds the vast majority of the time, attests to this.
Else, the main benefit to asking advice of others is to help them feel good about themselves, and increase the comfort they feel with us. It is not necessarily about extracting information. As the level of comfort and safeness that others feel around us increases, we become more likable and endearing to them.
Conclusion
How to be more lovable encourages the show of imperfections and quirks, for us to appear more human, relatable, and safe to be with. Imperfections and vulnerability tone down others’ insecurities and reassures them that judgement is not imminent. Again, being more lovable means loading on positive remarks, and validating and revering others as experts, by seeking for their advice.
References
Aronson, E., Willerman, B., & Floyd, J. (1966). The effect of a pratfall on increasing interpersonal attractiveness. Psychonomic Science, 4(6), 227–228.
Losada, M. & Heaphy, E. (2004). The role of positivity and connectivity in the performance of business teams: A nonlinear dynamics model. American Behavioral Scientist, 47 (6), pp. 740–765.
