Oftentimes, women communicate to build rapport and relationship, not to get advice or solution. Going against this tendency, we clueless men frequently think that women are talking to us to get information or advice. When this information or advice is rejected, we are dumbstruck. Our Jaws slackened from this, we face angry women who believe that we are not listening. Further with, when our relationships with our wives are running smoothly, we tend to perform more effectively at work. Contingent upon, how to communicate with your wife without fighting, headlines crucial.
How To Communicate With Your Wife Without Fighting Unfurls Here
1. Ask If She Wants Advice Before You Give It
Women frequently talk out loud about some concerns at home or office. All they want is just a listening ear, not advice or solutions. Our failure to understand this, puts them off, and may lead to a rejection of our ideas. On a different note, when we understand their clear motives for initiating a conversation, we take a lot of pressure off our shoulders, and become better listeners. In train with, it abides fruitful to give our women the social contact and support they are craving, not solve their problems.
2. Ask More Open Questions To Engage Her In Conversation
To help build our relationships, we need to ask questions that start with “How” or “what,” instead of giving short reports. For instance, over a conversation about vacation, you can say, “money for vacation is not available now. What alternatives close to home will you enjoy?” upshot to, asking open questions allow us to become good listeners and have access to valuable information and feelings.
3. Listen With Your Eyes And Ears
It remains wise for us to pay attention to our wives non-verbals. Pauses, facial expressions, and gestures, all point to a change in emotional state. So, pay attention to a sudden change in your woman’s posture or expression. If that brings along confusion, announce it to her. For instance, “I heard you say, ‘okay,’ but I’m not sure how you are feeling. How do you really feel about this?” In plain, you gain upon ideas behind how to communicate with your wife without fighting, as you take into consideration her non-verbals.
From Confusion To Clarity – Sam’s Story
Expounding with, when Sam asked his wife Kate to attend a ball game with him, she paused, exhaled audibly, and wrinkled her nose before she said, “well, okay, if you are really keen on it.” On the day of the event, she stacked her complaints end to end. “The heat is killing me.” “What a boring spectacle.” “You don’t listen to me.” The husband retorted, “you said you wanted to go.” They ended up arguing. As Sam reframed his confusion as curiosity, it dawned on him that he misunderstood his wife. He would have saved himself the stress of the argument if he paid attention to Kate’s body language.
4. Schedule A Listening Date
In this regard, set aside about an hour during the week when there would be few interruptions. Encourage your wife to come to this “date” with a list of subjects she wants to discuss, and what she wants from the discussion. Her subjects can include seeking for clarification on a previously discussed issue or calling for a decision. For good, sit close to her, no farther than five feet apart. This closeness facilitates listening, increases the length of response, and promotes intimacy. Encourage her to go first. Moreover, ensure that the listening date does not extend beyond the time you are able to listen with care. Fatigue hampers your ability to pay attention.
6. Jot Down Your Thoughts To Avoid Interrupting Her
This practice allows you to listen more freely. Again, it makes the written thoughts easier to remember, at the right time. As well, keep from finishing her sentence or answering her question before it is fully verbalised. The notions at the core of how to communicate with your wife without fighting, grows on this attitude.
7. Make Sure You Understand Her Message Before Responding
In the event of doubt, restate what you heard her say using your own words, not her exact words. Then, seek for agreement. To illustrate with, if she talks about going to the theatre instead of a ball game, you might respond with, “I’m discerning that you want to do some refined stuff, right?”
8. Speak In The First Person
It is more productive to say, “I think,” “I feel,” or “I heard,” instead of “you said.”
9. Describe Instead Of Labelling
To say, “I saw you wrinkle your nose, tighten your jaw, and leave the room,” is more constructive than saying, “you really got mad at what I said.” Judgemental statements provoke sabotaging resistance.
10. Ask One Question At A Time
Asking multiple questions in rapid succession casts you as controlling. Besides, the answer to your last question is what you will get, most times.
11. Get Comfortable With Her Pauses
Allow her time to think about her responses. To foster this progressive attitude, don’t ask and answer your own questions. Doing that simply means that you are talking to yourself.
12. Align With Her Emotionally
Encourage her to communicate her desires with clear, unambiguous statements. In this, it is more constructive for her to say, “our kitchen counter space is not spacious enough to prepare the meals we like,” than “I’m sick of this kitchen.” This apart, her adding, “so, what can we do about it?” at the end of the first statement makes it more constructive. This gives you a chance to answer. To shed more light upon, you can still choose to align with her emotionally, by asking a question, instead of avoiding communication. For example, when you hear about her being sick of the kitchen, you can respond, “you sound frustrated. What will help?” As we keep asking questions when our wives are upset, we encourage them to talk much better, and communicate their feelings, intentions, and desires clearly.
13. Demonstrate Solidarity In Front Of The Kids When Both Of You Disagree On Discipline Or Decision
To take a step for the relationship is to keep our children from coming between us and our wives.
14. Shower Sincere Praise On Her
Recount for your wife exactly what she did and how you or someone else benefited from it. Praise her in front of others if she is an extrovert.
15. Correct In Private
To correct your spouse in the middle of a story, will only infuriate her. What is more, it will make your audience uncomfortable and present you as a control freak.
16. Kick Old Hurts
As you clear your mind of negativity, you clear the lens through which you perceive reality. This enables you to focus on the good in your wife.
17. Find Something New To Do Or Discuss Every Week
With this step, you keep the relationship fresh, and promote an atmosphere of positive surprises.
How to communicate with your wife without fighting, reveals ideas that remind us that we and our wives are on the same team. The ideas prime us to become more sensitive and responsive to the needs of our wives. As a result, we promote unity, peaceful interpersonal climate, and fulfillment.
I think these are great tips. You know as they say, women are difficult to understand (even though not all women are). It takes wisdom to handle issues like this.
These are some great points! I love the point about ASKING if she wants advice; I think that would be beneficial to all relationships – including family and friendships too – as not all people want others to fix their problems for them, some people just someone to listen. Jotting down your thoughts instead of interrupting is great too, as there’s nothing I hate more than being interrupted! It makes me lose my train of thought instantly!
Clearly from a man with experience and who has done a lot of self reflection! These are great tips and honestly how we should be treating one another.
There are some great points and ideas here for sure, I will send this over to my hubby haha x
My husband is very patient with me. He knows that when I start to be silent, he knows that I need space. Your tips are great. I am sending the link to this post to my son in law. My daughter can be a brat sometimes. Haha.
I’m sure many men will find his useful. Thinking before speaking normally works well to avoid getting into trouble.
Communication is an art and skill. Regardless of communicating with a spouse or a family member, to me, the greatest skill is to listen. Great post!
I think I’m going to show my dad this one. Lol!