Oftentimes, when we are going through trying times or difficult experiences, our internal monologues are negative. “I just can’t do anything right.” “If I hadn’t done so and so, things would be different now.” Negative feelings frequently arise from negative self-talk. However, noticing negative self-talk, without automatically attaching ourselves to it, that is believing it, starts us taking steps towards ending it. Clearly, mindfully listening to ourselves, forms the foundation of how to practice self compassion in trying times, to lessen our suffering.
These Steps Underlie How To Practice Self Compassion In Trying Times
1. Notice Your Negative Self Talk Without Attaching Or Believing It
Many a time, this attitude makes us feel better immediately. In line with, let feelings of anger, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, fear, stress, be a cue to really listen to your inner dialogue mindfully. This primes you to no longer let harmful words and underlying judgments go by unnoticed and unquestioned.
2. Name The Negative Self Talk
As we name our negative self talk in the moment, we keep from accusing or beating down ourselves, for making the negative statement. For instance, if you hear your negative self talk say, “okay, John, that’s a useless idea, you can reply to yourself, “that was negative self talk.” “I acknowledge that I am speaking negatively to myself now.” I’m glad to notice it.” Steadily, I’m still learning and doing my best.” Naming our negative self talk keeps us from attaching to it.
3. Act Like Your Own Best Friend, Not Your Own Biggest Critic
To bring compassion to ourselves when we are indulging in self talk that is not true, helpful or kind, to act like our own best friend, not critic, alters for the better the way we feel. As we bring compassion to ourselves, we shift our focus away from anger or other negative feeling.
Further with, take a moment to think of the person you love and care for the most. Then, think of all the times you have encouraged him or her, especially in their trying times. What would you say to her if you heard her say something like, “I’m such a miserable loser,” or “I’m ugly.” For good, see yourself in their place and offer yourself the same words of comfort that you would bestow on your best friend. “It’s alright, you are doing okay.” “Please quit beating yourself up.” Practice this often, especially when you notice yourself engaging in a negative diatribe. This stimulates other ideas of how to practice self compassion in trying times.
4. Jettison The Drill Sargent Mentality For A Cheerleader Approach
We don’t need to whip ourselves to accomplish our goals. Cheering ourselves on can help us to get just as much done. Of a fact, it promotes a much happier existence during the process. So, it is worthwhile to do away with whipping and offer compassion to your self. “I know it’s tough on you, dear, but you are surviving.” “You are making steady progress, and you will make it.” “Showing up everyday is success in itself.” “Your daily small victories are adding up.” “You are on your way to success.”
Frequently, we cause unnecessary suffering in our lives, through the way we speak to ourselves, especially during trying times. By mindfully listening to our negative self talk, and replacing them with compassion, we lessen much of our suffering.