It’s time to act if you find that you never stand up for yourself, that you are constantly agreeing to things you don’t want to do. Again, ask yourself these questions in your domestic life. Am I putting in more hours than others? Am I being acknowledged for my work? The credit for my work, do others seem to get it? Do I end up doing the job that no one else wants? To judge the equality of work in a personal relationship means gauging whether you both have the same amount of free time. More, If you are in the habit of helping others at the expense of your loved ones, it will not help you and your friends or colleagues in the long run. Dissatisfaction will arise. In this, how to stop being a doormat shows crucial.
Here Headlines How To Stop Being A Doormat
1. Learn How To Say No
Realise that no is an option. In the event of you being asked to do something you don’t want to do, be honest. Explain why you cannot say an enthusiastic yes. “I’m completely overwhelmed at the moment. I have this deadline for next week. Moreover, I’m helping John get his report due at the end of this week done. I don’t have the time to take on anything new.”
Sometimes, the best way to say no is to offer the other person a choice. For instance, if your boss asks you to take on a new task, explain that you can, but you will not then have time to finish the current task you are doing. Ask which she would rather you did. Also, this can work in a family situation. “Darling, I can certainly write that letter for you. However, this will mean I won’t have time to get dinner ready tonight. Can you handle that. Then I can write the letter.”
2. Offer To Do Extra Things In Your Spare Time To Make It Easier To Say No
As you offer extra help, you can also choose the kinds of jobs you like. “I’m not free now, but I will be available around 1pm. I can help you to write that letter by that time if it’s okay with you.”
3. Learn To Walk Away
It is not acceptable for anyone to call you names or make fun of you. If this is happening at work, complain to someone in management about it. Further, if your boss is the problem, walk away when he does this. Ask him politely to stop talking to you in that way.
4. Prioritize As You Cannot Help Everyone
As you are probably facing many commitments and demands on your time, you need to be honest with yourself. Realise that you cannot help everyone. You do not need to feel guilty to say no. See your no in a positive light. For example, “I’ve said no to ensure that I have enough time for my children.” Clearly, as you prioritize, you keep up ideas of how to stop being a doormat.
5. Beware Of The Fallacy That By Being Extra Kind And Helpful You can Win Over The Unpleasant Person
This can show particularly destructive in relationships where one person does everything they can to be kind to the unpleasant other and keep him or her pleased. Ironically, it appears that the nicer you are the more unpleasant the other person becomes. Relationships should be based on fairness.
6. Remember That What You Think About Yourself Can Be reflected In How Others Treat You
If you see yourself as weak or useless, others may see you in the same light. In contrast, if you see yourself as strong and independent, others will respect you and not “use” you. Choosing friends that make you feel good about yourself and build you up, spotlights constructive. Doing this helps to trigger in your mind thoughts compatible to how to stop being a doormat.
If you please others at the expense of looking after yourself or your loved ones, it is time to act. Learn to start saying no. Also, prioritize who you can help. Make sure that you are not taken improperly advantage of.