Self-delusion, unfounded optimism, giving ourselves unrealistic positive ratings, often lulls us into thinking we are unique, special and superior. Associated to, it shows us guileful and deceitful, and makes our ego-defense system brittle. Again, it starts us believing that we are not subject to the same rules as others, that we are deserving of things simply because we want them. From seeing ourselves special and amazing, at the expense of others, to being over-confident, we end up sabotaging our relationships. Plus, with this attitude, we tend to wilt in the face of the tiniest bit of setback or criticism. Consequently, we reduce our chances of success. In this, how to stop being delusional stands important.
Of a piece with, how to stop being delusional, how to stand accurate insights of ourselves, awakens us to the truth about who we are, our skills and abilities. Likewise, it keeps us from harmful choices resulting from overconfidence, and portrays us complex, interesting, and intelligent.
How to Stop Being Delusional Spotlights
1. Appreciate Your Weaknesses As You Keep Your Successes In View
Humility facilitates the practice of self-awareness. More, it stimulates us to own up when we don’t have the answers, and promotes the willingness to learn from others versus stubbornly clinging to our views. Illustrating with, Angela Arendts dreamed of being a fashion designer. While in college, a professor took her aside and gave her some advice well-intentioned but difficult to hear. “The kind of person who can talk about fashion, but isn’t able to produce it, is a merchant.”Arendts humility made her more self-aware, and she realised that the professor was given her great advice. She took the advice and went on to become a clothing merchant. By 2006, she became the CEO of Burberry, and orchestrated an impressive company turnaround amid recession.
2. Practice Self-acceptance
To practice self-acceptance or self-compassion, understanding our subjective reality and choosing to like ourselves anyway, comes with a payoff. It stimulates us away from delusionally believing we are perfect regardless of objective reality. When we are high in self-acceptance, we tend to hold positive views of ourselves, independent of external validation.
To continue with, this virtue helps to curtail our nervousness and self-consciousness. We can increase our self-acceptance by monitoring our inner dialogue, to promote self-accepting self-talk. Self-accepting language, minimises stress and improves our effectiveness. Question helpful here, “what I just rattled off to myself, would I say it to someone I like and respect?” Self-awareness, not self-delusion, helps us to extend more empathy and grace to ourselves. As we extend grace to ourselves, we pave way for ideas of how to stop being delusional.
3. Remain Open To Several Truths And Explanations About Your Range Of Feelings And Behaviour
Settling for one absolute root cause or absolute truth to explain a broad range of feelings and behaviours, often hinders internal self-awareness, and promotes self-delusion. In the wake of, the many nuances in how we think, feel, behave, and interact with the world around us is lost to us. Also, it hampers the search for, or creation of, alternative viewpoints to problems we experience. Therefore, it undermines the usefulness of self-reflection.
Clear with, the quest for the one absolute truth that explains everything about ourselves leads to less insight. Furthermore, it tunes up depression, anxiety, and rumination. Away from, engaging in a process of open and curious exploration, not searching for definite answers, best defines introspection. Letting go of the need to find a singular cause for our tendencies, facilitates self-awareness.
4. Kick “Why” For “What” To Discover New Information About Yourself
When you ask, “what kind of person am I,” not “why am I the kind of person I am,” you open yourself to discovering new information about yourself. Asking “why?” often gets us resisting or rationalising away negative evaluation or information about ourselves. Contrary to, asking “what?” primes us to discover new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in conflict with our existing beliefs (Hixon and Swann, 1993).
Moreover, asking “why?” to examine the causes of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours may lead us to the easiest and most plausible answer that may not be true. Again, it often puts us in a victim mentality. Also, it frequently haves us settling for a current thought or belief, based on a single recent event that does not capture the whole essence of who we are. What is more, it can stimulate us to invent reasons to confirm our existing beliefs about ourselves, that may not be accurate. Oftentimes, it leaves us more confused, and with little insight. Another fact, “why?” questions tend to limit, stir up negative emotions, and trap us in the past.
Good Of “What” Questions
A better way, when you feel anything other than peace, ask, “what is going on?” “what is the dialogue inside my mind?” “what are other ways of seeing the situation?” “How can I respond better?” “What do I like?” “What do I dislike about what I’m doing?” “What” questions draw out high value discoveries and a potential solution to a problem? Clearly, “what” questions help us to hold with the good of ideas behind how to stop being delusional. Plus, they open us to our potential, keep us curious, and help us create a better future. As we switch from “why?” to “what?” we escape victim mentality, into growth. Noteworthy with, asking “what?” not “why?” galvanises us to name our emotions. Translating our emotions into language helps us to stay in control.
An important exception to the rule, when navigating business challenges or solving problems in your organisation, asking “why?” is often crucial. From an employee dropping the ball on an important client project, to a new product failing, not exploring why it happened means risking the reoccurrence of the problem. In view of, “why?” questions help us understand our environment, while “what?” questions help us understand ourselves.
5. Use Expressive Writing To Explore The Negative And Not Overthink The Positive
Expressive writing involves writing for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, our deepest thoughts and feelings, about issues that have made a big impact on our lives. Though writing about our struggles can be distressing in the short-term, it helps us achieve long-term improvements in our moods and well-being (Pennebaker, 1997).
Also, reliving our happy memories, not extensively analysing the events, prompts us into more self-acceptance, growth, and well-being. The tendency to examine positive moments or events too closely sucks the joy out of them.
Journaling As A Means Of Exploration
Further with, journaling to talk about things over and over, or discharge emotions, robs us of insight, growth, change or closure. When journaling is used as a means of exploration, of holding up a mirror, it can help us to make sense of the past and present. In consequence, we move forward more productively. As we engage in constructive journaling or expressive writing, we write about both the factual and the emotional aspects of the events we are describing. Forward with, processing both our thoughts and feelings, helps us garner insights promoting learning and growth.
A variant of, you can also journal about an event, from others’ point of view, to understand your impact on them. As you explore others’ perspectives, you gain insight to understand their reactions, and stand a more objective perspective.
Hint amid all, it’s best not to write everyday. Writing every few days is better than writing for many days in a row. It is wise to stand back every now and then, to evaluate where we are in life.
6. Keep Off Rumination That Robs Us Of Energy To Explore For Insights
Rumination advertises as the single-minded fixation on our fears, shortcomings and insecurities, without gaining any insight, growth or closure. We ruminate most when we feel we don’t measure up in an area that is especially important to us. A chronic people-pleaser might ruminate about upsetting a close friend; a workaholic, about a poor performance. Ruminating frequently goads us into less satisfying lives and relationships. Moreover, it worsens our moods, and impairs our problem-solving ability.
Likewise, to ruminate means that we are spending so much energy looking at what is wrong with us, that we have no mental energy left to explore for insights. As ruminators, our minds are so laser-focused on an incident, reaction or personal weakness, that we miss our emotions and the bigger picture. In this situation, we cannot gain any valuable insight, since we have not identified and evaluated our thoughts and emotions. To a nicety, keeping off rumination, helps to anchor us with notions of how to stop being delusional.
Saddling with, we as frequent ruminators tend to avoid feedback, lest it sends us spiralling downwards. As poor perspective-takers, we tend to be mired in self-delusion. A way out of rumination, remind yourself that people don’t generally care about your mistake as much as you think they do. Also, channel your thinking to focus on learning, not performance, in your personal and workplace encounters.
To escape from self-delusion into insights facilitated by self-awareness, admits of humility, self-acceptance, being open to several truths about our range of behaviours and feelings. Also, we make more inroads into ideas of how to stop being delusional, as we throw over rumination, to release more energy to explore for insights.
J. Gregory Hixon and William B. Swann. “When does introspection bear fruit? Self-reflection, self-insight, and interpersonal choices.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 64.1(1993): 35–43.
James W Pennebaker. “Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process.” Psychological Science 8.3 (1997): 162–166.