WE RUN INTO PROBLEMS IN OUR INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION WHEN WE ASSUME THAT WORDS MEAN THE SAME THING TO OTHERS AS THEY DO TO US.

The entirety of raw reality eludes our attention most of the time; we tend to be selective in our focus and labeling of reality. Responding to our labels, not to the actual experiences, is what happens most of the time. Symbols dictate the nature of our experience and perception.

Symbols are arbitrary, ambiguous, abstract representations of animate and inanimate things, feelings, and occurrences. Your name stands as a symbol that represents you.

The arbitrariness of symbols means that they are not intrinsically connected to what they represent. For example, the word John has no essential or natural connection to the bearer; we could easily set our preference to other symbols, provided their meanings are agreeable to all.

Symbols fall in with ambiguousness because they don’t possess a clear-cut or fixed meaning.

People get off two different meanings, with the symbol, a good friend. To some people, it may mean someone who is very generous with his or her time and other material resources; and to another, someone who is not easily offended.

When we assume that words mean the same thing to others as they do to us, we run into problems in our interpersonal communication. A husband and a wife may lean towards different understandings of what being more loving means.

To get over the problems of ambiguity, we need to set ourselves to work at communicating clearly and specifically. Translating ambiguous language into concrete language helps us to express ourselves clearly and specifically.

Example: Ambiguous language: You are crude.

Clear and specific language: I don’t like it when you grab my hands roughly.