A give and take, a back-and-forth exchange, hallmarks true communication. As you are each trying to get a message across, you are trying to understand the other person, the other person trying to understand you. To clearly express what we are thinking, feeling and believing, spotlights as a good way of kick-starting the communication process. When we do self-expression the right way, we communicate with clarity, leaving no room for confusion. What is more, we create a conducive atmosphere for others to express their thoughts and ideas on the subject. As a result, we foster a collaborative spirit that promotes problem solving. In this, practising effective self-expression headlines important. Effective self-expression usually starts off with “I think,” “I feel,” or “I believe.”
Here features effective ways of practising self-expression.
1. Own Your Statements By Acknowledging That They Are Based On Something Concrete And Personal
Self-expression recognises that certain experiences lead you to your thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Therefore, they are yours, and yours alone. This understanding helps you to validate your thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Validating them means acknowledging that they are based on something concrete and personal, your own experiences. Again, it starts you accepting that others have their own thoughts, ideas, and feelings, based on their own valid experiences.
In line with, it is more constructive to say, “I feel I would be able to work so much better if I have a faster computer,” than “it would be good for our department if we get some new computers.” This last statement, unclear, also suggests that you have no real position on the subject of productivity, and no basis for making your statement. Differently, the earlier statement reveals how you could be more productive. It comes with a clarity and suggests that it is based on prior knowledge and experience. As well, it makes it easier for others to express their thoughts and ideas on the subject.
Saddling on, accepting ownership of your statements reveals that they are valid for you. As a result, you make them with confidence.
2. Make Sense Statements To Let The Other Person Experience A Situation From Your Perspective
Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, all feature as the sources of all our data about the world. When we use the data they provide us to practise self-expression, we allow the other person to experience a given situation from our point of view. Furthermore, it allows her to understand how we came to make our statement.
To illustrate with, suppose you say to your boss, “I didn’t think you were too pleased with my presentation.” You might also add, “well, when I was making the presentation, you didn’t ask any question. You had a smirk on your face, and kept glancing at your watch, from time to time.time.” This rich sense data helps your boss to understand you and communicate back effectively. Your sense statement showed your boss how you reached your conclusion, making it easier for her to clear any misunderstanding. So, she responds, “since I thought you were doing such a good job, and answering all the questions I might have asked, I kept quiet. I was happy with your good preparation, and was probably smiling. I kept looking at my watch because my son was sick and I had to call the doctor by one.”
Following from, as both of you reach better understanding, you also help foil arguments since you make clear that you are not speaking from some absolute position of truth. The sense statements merely record and interpret your data. On this, you are not proving a point, proving you are right, nor making it difficult for the other to air her interpretations. By Acknowledging the right of others to their interpretations, you demonstrate emotional intelligence.
3. Use Interpretive Statements To Reveal What You Think Or Believe At A Given Time
Interpretive statements show that you took certain information into account before making the statement. “I didn’t think that would interest you.” “It’s one o’clock and we have another appointment at three.” “I clearly see that you were working to improve my relationship with the client.”
To shed more light upon, to make interpretive statements suggest that your interpretation is subject to review. Consequently, the person listening to it does not feel boxed in by your certainty. “I didn’t think you would be interested” is open to revision, whereas “You are not interested in seeing my weekly plans” is not. Its air of finality and judgement fosters arguments that frustrate productive communication.
Furthermore, interpretive statements help you supply more information to the other person. In consequence, she sees how you reached your interpretation and how to help you revise it, if necessary. You can also incorporate sense data in your interpretive statements. “I’ve never seen you looking at any of my colleagues weekly plans.”
4. Make Feeling Statements To Reveal Your Comfort Level And Position
Disclosing our feelings to others reveals our comfort level and the reasons behind our reactions. As we give the other person a better picture of the situation, we prime her to change or improve it or show understanding and empathy, if the situation cannot be changed. For instance, you can say to your boss, “I’m really feeling overwhelmed by the extra hours I work. Throughout last week I didn’t get home until nine, and I worked weekend. I feel sad that I see little of my children.” The precise feeling statements convey useful information to your boss.
What is more, the feeling statements show her how difficult the extra work is for you. This allows her to understand your being a bit short-tempered and Impatient with some of your colleagues, and your nodding off in a meeting. If she cannot change the situation, she can offer you her empathy, at least.
Gathering from, disclosing feeling statements in an emotionally intelligent way means tuning into our feelings, conveying them accurately, and being sensitive to the respondent. In addition, make what you are saying less hurtful and anger-producing. Being frustrated and overwhelmed can sometimes show as being furious with your boss.
5. Use Intention Statements To Reveal Your Desires
Revealing your intentions lets the other person know what your desires are. As both of you become clear of what each respectively wants from a given situation, the collaborative efforts become more productive. Intention statements usually begin with “I want,” “I would like,” or “I wish.” “l’d really like to head the Atlantic Productions publicity campaign. In my last job, I did publicity for their major competitor, I don’t know if you know that. So, I’m aware of the issues. Though you may already have someone else in mind, I wish you would consider me. Is there any way we could steer the campaign together.”
Judging from, effective intention statements are clear, straightforward, and laced with good documentation and sensitivity. Of a fact, being clear and direct with your intentions enhances the possibility of their actualisation. Effective intention statements keep down the control element, minimising resistance in the process
6. Make Action Statements To Clarify What Is Really Going On
Action statements show the other person why you did or will do or are doing something. It reveals that you did or are doing it, in case the other person is unaware of the action. Good to, they provide information that the other person may not otherwise have.
To put a construction on, making an action statement such as, “I’m thinking about what you said,” reveals to the consultant that you have been mulling over what she has been saying. You have been wondering how you might implement some of her recommendations, though you are sitting quietly, gazing out the window. This action statement clarifies what is really going on, saving the consultant the distress of thinking she was doing something wrong. It shows you care about her feelings.
Close upon, being aware of our actions and the possible impact our actions might have, helps us to create effective action statements.
Self-expression helps us to convey to another what our position on a particular subject is. As we express our valid interpretations of situations, intentions, feelings, and actions, in a way that encourages others to share their own perspectives, and even revise our own interpretations, we promote the give and take that hallmarks productive communications. As a result, we collaborate better, and solve problems more effectively.
Hi Azubike, great post. I like that you say to personalise your thoughts and requests, it makes complete sense. It’s a good way of approaching things, thanks for sharing.
thanks for sharing these tips to express self better, learnt them & gonna practising 😀
It’s so important to get good advice on how to behave at your working place and how to interact with your peers. So many traps there. And this post definitely helps – thank you!
Very detailed and well explained post, I wish they taught us this in school, because communication is soo important in the work place, thanks for sharing
Self-expression is indeed so important and it helps if we articulate our thoughts in a manner which can help in coveying what we feel. this article would definitely help in that
The way that we communicate with others is so important, especially at work. When you reframe how you say something, you get better results.
I think it’s really important to personalize your thoughts. Great list of ways to show your self-expression and communicate better.
This is going to require some learning! I love the idea that we should put real effort into simply communicating with one another, to make sure that we deliver the right message, no matter what that is. I find a lot can be lost when effort isn’t made when talking to someone.
I really enjoyed this post, especially the part where you said to make an action statement. I believe action statements keep both us and those we are talking to accountable. Thanks for sharing.
I find this really helpful especially because I lead a team of smart and talented people spread across the globe! building trust has been an upward journey and I think putting yourself in their shoes and them putting on your shoes I think really goes along way!
There is a lot to self expression in all aspects of life that can really help with communication! I love all the tips you provide on how to not only own your own statements but also how to convey the meanings behind your intentions. This can all help in getting your needs and goals to come to fruition!
“Make Sense Statements To Let The Other Person Experience A Situation From Your Perspective”… I appreciate this point. It’s one area with can improve a lot. Thanks.
Agree, it does extremely important for you to “express yourself” clearly and firmly; it’s important in your daily life, let alone the competitive work place, where you need to be heard. Thanks a lot for your tips!!
It is very important that you find some way to manifest your thoughts and feelings. Self -expression is a way of interacting with others and the world around us. It is a personal way to communicate the true nature of our minds. It can give us an outlet that will help us to better deal with our feelings.
its really important for us to express our selves in our most simplest way….it would be very easy for others to identify what we you want and what you need…go straight to the point make it simple and most likely results will be obtained easily that will satisfy everyone
This is such a good post. I really love that you broke it down and made it a logical discussion, not an emotional discussion.